Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Letting go.

Disclaimer: this is merely my opinion on the issue & is not a generalization of females or males in any way.

People in our lives is what make our lives what they are (essentially.)
There wouldn't be such a word "society," if there were no people to associate with.
The point is this, there are people. & there is you. Now, here's the catch. How do you know which people are meant to be in your life?
There are plenty of people that come in & out of my life, and by the leisure of my frustration, I conveniently stop talking to them. Some may describe this action as being "bitchy," but I beg to differ.
When it comes to friendship, I am brutally honest, I don't sugarcoat my feelings, but above all, I'll be there for you. Not saying that I am "the best person ever," or anything of the sort. What I am saying though is that once I offer my friendship to someone, the sacrifices that I make on their behalf should be quite evident & appreciated.
Because people have a tendency to remember the bad & forget the good, they conveniently take for granted what they have with someone because of the "rainy days."

[When I speak of 'friendship,' I mean between females as well as males (relationships.)]

I may come off as "bitchy," as mentioned earlier because I don't keep many females as company. I have held a lot of females as friends while growing up (which was after my tomboy phase.) Because I grew up with the males in my family, I was not used to the catty and dramatic behavior from females. Everything is an issue. Everyone is talking about eachother. Everyone is judging eachother. & above all, females have mastered the ability to be fake.
These are observations of females that I have seen (& am pretty sure everyone has as well.) Not saying that all females are like this, but most. Because of how women are portrayed in society, we (as women,) are used to using our speech & looks to our advantage (& to get what we want.) Because that is the case, females do not tend to appreciate when they have something good (unless it's sex, because then they go into a mental shutdown, but that's on a whole other subject!)

Men, on the other hand, are used to getting what they want, because, well, they are men. Society has molded them to believe that they are correct in whatever they do, & that they are superior. Whether they believe that or not, I could care less. The point is that they feel that they rightfully deserve the good things that come their way, (such as good friendships.) Depending on how mature a man is, is the level of compromise & understanding that he will offer in a relationship.

Now, that the background perspective was shared, back to the question at hand:
How do you know which people are meant to be in your life?

This may seem a bit "corny," but I'm about to quote @RevRunWisdom :)
"Sometimes you just grow out of ppl,, dont try to repair it,, its too painful,, #moveon"
Along with many other inspiring tweets that he has posted (that damn near anyone with a twitter reads,) he gives light on how to help on deciding if you should keep a person in your life. But this is my blog (not Rev's,) I was just using his quote as a backbone to my argument.

"Sometimes you grow out of people." - How many people are you able to "grow out of?" Life is basically a book that we all write for ourselves, containing different tabs, sections, and chapters. It is our story (history.) In order to grow, many times we have to shed. It is evident that we are humans and not snakes, but think of the things you used as a child & then think of the things you now use as an adult. Instead of crayons, we now use pens. This may be a childish example, but it expresses the idea.
To grow, we mature. The definition of mature (as taken from Dictionary.com,): fully developed in body or mind, as a person: a mature woman. I'd prefer to touch on the aspect on developing one's mind (& not body.) Someone has to essentially mature by themselves. To become mature contains subdivisions (according to me.) 1.) Being realistic (there is nothing mature about lying to yourself or others to make you or them feel better, very childish.) 2.) Knowing 'when' to do things (when to spend money, when to pick an argument, when to wear a certain outfit, etc.) 3.) The ability to look at a glass as half full or half empty, in other words, to gain perspective. There is nothing 'mature' about being narrow-minded. Narrow-mindedness is linked to being naive, and that again, is childish.

To be mature is the idea & goal that most of us are trying to reach as we grow into adults & gain more & more responsibilities. When you, as a person, decide to become mature, & try to mature in every aspect in your life, sometimes adjustments have to be made. Smarter investments have to be made & we have to start thinking more with our minds, because our hearts will mislead us at times.

As we grow, we will hurt, but the decisions we make with those emotions is the leading factor.
Be strong, & listen to your mind, learn to fight for the well-being of yourself.
People who are willing to mature along with you, appreciate you, and help you, are those who deserve to stay in your life.
Because I'm pretty sure no one wants to serve their purpose as someone's baby-sitter, feel un-appreciated, or be taken for granted.

Don't hunt down someone that doesn't want to be found. & I'm not speaking physically, emotionally. People grow older. People grow wiser. & People grow apart.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Blank stares with an empty mind.

Blank stares with an empty mind
because when I think, it hurts
every thought wants to be heard
they're all loud & obsurd
they're all letters, they're all words
this would be easy if I was a nerd
but I can't handle this
each thought has an emotion
just like each verb has an action
my head spins, it turns, & then it falls like it weighs a dozen
It falls as if it's frozen
& I try to block out these thoughts, these feelings
but every emotion I have is golden
They yell, they scream, I want to ignore them...
The room is so loud but I look & it's empty
& I wonder if I'm going crazy
it's a possibility, it's a maybe
but instead of thinking, I rather stare... blankly
I'll deal with this when I'm ready
Till' then, my mind is empty.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Define BEAUTY.

Who defines beauty?
You define beauty? Yes, but what gives you the right?
Is it the amount of beauty spots that are engraved into my skin
(one... two... three... four...)
Is there a certain angle that my nose should follow? (dead straight, right.)
Do dimples make me beautiful?
Does it matter that they're beside my eyes instead of my cheeks?
So you say I'm not beautiful?
What makes someone beautiful... better yet, who isn't 'beauty-full,' who isn't full of beauty?

I think the only person that isn't beautiful, is one that cannot see the beauty within others.
Better yet, that cannot see the beauty within themselves.

You define your beauty, yes. But, you're looking in a mirror for way too long, because the answers are not there.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

I fkd you.

I grew from the pain you put me through.
I realize the shit you made me do
& I guess now I'm through.
I say it like I made the ultimate decision
& I always wonder why there's no long term relationship I can never stay in,
But I call your bullshit from early, there's no need to stay here.
There's no need to play games and
there's no need to wonder in fear.
You were "genuine" from the beginning.
Quoting every sweet song you've ever heard,
And sounding out every little letter in every little word,
Holding me close and looking into my eyes,
And whispered so sweetly those genuine lies.
You let go of me so quickly.
You ran away from me like you hit me.
Hit and run, I feel like you should've gotta ticket,
But for breaking and entering, you started then quitted.
You began and said f*ck it,
You ran and then stuck it,
& I won't even sit here boohoo crying and say I regret what you made me do
Because through the moans, the screams, and the bed shaking, I f*cked you.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

just like the Ys.

You see, I'm not blaming you.
I don't know your name, and not to say that I'm judging you.
Although, I must say- it's true.
No, it's not your skin colour.
I could care less about what you are wearing.
Too many tattoos? haha, no.
I must admit... you look like you have a Y chromosome in your gentic makeup.
Oh, is that right? I was just making a hunch.
Well then, that's it.
You can't fight something that you were born into.
You were born into a society that created you into a monster.
I know a couple people like you.
You know, they've got a Y chromsome as well.
I never got it, but I understand now.
I grew up hearing that your kind were 'assholes.'
I musn't lie. I grew up admiring certain things about your kind.
The ability to not give a damn about anything- I like that.
I'll never have a Y chromosome, you're right.
But, I can adapt a couple of your mental abilities, no?
C'mon, I can be just like you!
I'll take care of my mother, and I'll treat everyone else like they're shit.
I won't put anyone on pedestal, and I'll keep in mind that all I need in this life is me.
If one person screws me over, I'll keep it moving.
I'll realize that I have flaws, and embrace the fact those flaws are what make me beautiful.
and if someone doesn't see it, they can keep it moving until they hit a rock that helps them to trip right out of my life.
See, you people with the Y chromosomes really are quite smart,
I don't know what people are talking about!
Next time I hear an "asshole" comment about the Ys,
I'll defend you...


because I want to be just like the Ys, they've got their head screwed on the right way.