Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Letting go.

Disclaimer: this is merely my opinion on the issue & is not a generalization of females or males in any way.

People in our lives is what make our lives what they are (essentially.)
There wouldn't be such a word "society," if there were no people to associate with.
The point is this, there are people. & there is you. Now, here's the catch. How do you know which people are meant to be in your life?
There are plenty of people that come in & out of my life, and by the leisure of my frustration, I conveniently stop talking to them. Some may describe this action as being "bitchy," but I beg to differ.
When it comes to friendship, I am brutally honest, I don't sugarcoat my feelings, but above all, I'll be there for you. Not saying that I am "the best person ever," or anything of the sort. What I am saying though is that once I offer my friendship to someone, the sacrifices that I make on their behalf should be quite evident & appreciated.
Because people have a tendency to remember the bad & forget the good, they conveniently take for granted what they have with someone because of the "rainy days."

[When I speak of 'friendship,' I mean between females as well as males (relationships.)]

I may come off as "bitchy," as mentioned earlier because I don't keep many females as company. I have held a lot of females as friends while growing up (which was after my tomboy phase.) Because I grew up with the males in my family, I was not used to the catty and dramatic behavior from females. Everything is an issue. Everyone is talking about eachother. Everyone is judging eachother. & above all, females have mastered the ability to be fake.
These are observations of females that I have seen (& am pretty sure everyone has as well.) Not saying that all females are like this, but most. Because of how women are portrayed in society, we (as women,) are used to using our speech & looks to our advantage (& to get what we want.) Because that is the case, females do not tend to appreciate when they have something good (unless it's sex, because then they go into a mental shutdown, but that's on a whole other subject!)

Men, on the other hand, are used to getting what they want, because, well, they are men. Society has molded them to believe that they are correct in whatever they do, & that they are superior. Whether they believe that or not, I could care less. The point is that they feel that they rightfully deserve the good things that come their way, (such as good friendships.) Depending on how mature a man is, is the level of compromise & understanding that he will offer in a relationship.

Now, that the background perspective was shared, back to the question at hand:
How do you know which people are meant to be in your life?

This may seem a bit "corny," but I'm about to quote @RevRunWisdom :)
"Sometimes you just grow out of ppl,, dont try to repair it,, its too painful,, #moveon"
Along with many other inspiring tweets that he has posted (that damn near anyone with a twitter reads,) he gives light on how to help on deciding if you should keep a person in your life. But this is my blog (not Rev's,) I was just using his quote as a backbone to my argument.

"Sometimes you grow out of people." - How many people are you able to "grow out of?" Life is basically a book that we all write for ourselves, containing different tabs, sections, and chapters. It is our story (history.) In order to grow, many times we have to shed. It is evident that we are humans and not snakes, but think of the things you used as a child & then think of the things you now use as an adult. Instead of crayons, we now use pens. This may be a childish example, but it expresses the idea.
To grow, we mature. The definition of mature (as taken from Dictionary.com,): fully developed in body or mind, as a person: a mature woman. I'd prefer to touch on the aspect on developing one's mind (& not body.) Someone has to essentially mature by themselves. To become mature contains subdivisions (according to me.) 1.) Being realistic (there is nothing mature about lying to yourself or others to make you or them feel better, very childish.) 2.) Knowing 'when' to do things (when to spend money, when to pick an argument, when to wear a certain outfit, etc.) 3.) The ability to look at a glass as half full or half empty, in other words, to gain perspective. There is nothing 'mature' about being narrow-minded. Narrow-mindedness is linked to being naive, and that again, is childish.

To be mature is the idea & goal that most of us are trying to reach as we grow into adults & gain more & more responsibilities. When you, as a person, decide to become mature, & try to mature in every aspect in your life, sometimes adjustments have to be made. Smarter investments have to be made & we have to start thinking more with our minds, because our hearts will mislead us at times.

As we grow, we will hurt, but the decisions we make with those emotions is the leading factor.
Be strong, & listen to your mind, learn to fight for the well-being of yourself.
People who are willing to mature along with you, appreciate you, and help you, are those who deserve to stay in your life.
Because I'm pretty sure no one wants to serve their purpose as someone's baby-sitter, feel un-appreciated, or be taken for granted.

Don't hunt down someone that doesn't want to be found. & I'm not speaking physically, emotionally. People grow older. People grow wiser. & People grow apart.

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